Man's fist reaching to the sky as he tries to take control of his live

Why We Struggle To Take Control Of Our Lives

Every morning, when the sun greets the new day, we are hopeful that today will be different. Today will be the day we take control of our lives and move towards a meaningful and fulfilled life. 

And yet, at the end of each day, as the sun kisses the day goodbye, we look back and wonder why we failed.  We wonder why is it that once again we fell victim to the rat race, self-doubt or expectations from others, only to name a few.

There are various reasons why we struggle to take control of our lives and move towards a meaningful and fulfilled life.


We do not know of what we must take control

When was the last time you took the time to evaluate your life? Not just your career, but all aspects of your life. 

We need to reflect regularly. Evaluate all aspects of our lives and make sure that we are still satisfied in all areas. 

If there is a hiccup in one area of our lives, it ripples to other areas. Then we feel frustrated, overwhelmed and like our lives are spinning out of control.

Furthermore, we cannot take control back if we do not know what it is that causes chaos and what we need to change. 


  • Reflect regularly on all areas of your life
  • Evaluate where you are at
  • Determine where you want to be
  • Establish what must change to move to where you want to be. 

Use this link to download your free workbook to help you evaluate where you are at, determine where you want to be and what must change to move forward. 

Our past experiences bring self-doubt

Another reason we struggle to take control of our lives is our past experiences.

We cannot change what happened to us or even what might be happening to us right now. 

However, how we allow what happens to us to shape and form us, are up to us, entirely.  We do not have control over our circumstances or what other people do/not do, but we can take control of the thoughts we form because of it.

We allow past experiences, peoples opinions and unmet expectations to form our identity. And when we do this, we fall into a pit of low self-esteem and self-doubt. We take the blame for everyone else on our shoulders, and this is a heavy burden for any person to carry. 


  • Evaluate your life experience up to know
  • Determine which lies you allowed to become part of your identity
  • Let go of the pain and hurt caused by your life experience
  • Look for the lessons learned and how you can apply them in your life to help those around you
  • Start to establish your identity within yourself and do not allow others or your circumstances to tell you who you are

We do not have boundaries

The last reason I want to touch on is not having boundaries.

I know that this is a big issue for most people. Unfortunately, most of the time, we are not even aware that we lose control over our lives because of a lack of boundaries. 

But, without boundaries, we give people around us the reign over our lives. 

How you may ask, here are a few examples.

They dictate our thoughts and emotions.
We dedicate our time and energy towards others.
In the end, frustration, anger and resentment overwhelm our being and leaves us unable to move toward our dreams and goals.


  • Evaluate your life 
  • Determine the areas you need to establish boundaries in
  • See yourself as worthy to say no for a change
  • Determine the boundaries you need to put into place for you to reach your goals and dreams
  • Set the boundaries
  • Reinforce the boundaries


I believe that every person has the right and ability to take control of their lives and enjoy a meaningful and fulfilled life. All we need is the right skill set, and most importantly the belief that we are worthy.

Life likes to tell us otherwise, but life is a liar. For many years now, I helped people (and myself) to take control of their lives and enjoy a meaningful and fulfilled life, despite their past, pain or circumstances.

You are no different. 

The question we need to start with is:

How fed up are you with your life and how desperate are you to move towards the life you want?

Find what motivates your desire to change and allow that to feed you. Then, nothing will be able to stop you from taking control of your life, making the necessary changes and accomplishing your dreams.

Do not allow the world around you to dictate your life. 

You are worth so much more.

Photo taken by @richinfram

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3 thoughts on “Why We Struggle To Take Control Of Our Lives”

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