STOP written on the street in yellow - representing the desire we have to stopped with our bad habits

Why do we struggle to change bad habits

This year will be different; this year, I will change my bad habits.

And yet, at the end of the year, we look back with disappointment and frustration. All our good intentions lost, leaving us, once again feeling like a failure.

Why is it that we struggle to change our bad habits? Is it possible to do things differently? Or are we destined to ride this roller coaster of desiring to change our bad habits, yet failing, time and time again?

There are various reasons why we struggle to change bad habits.

Here are a few reasons we struggle to change our bad habits.


We might not acknowledge it, but what we think, determines our destiny. Yes, this is not a typo.

For instance – parents telling you to eat all the food they dished up for you because there are children in the world who are starving. You do not want to be the person contributing to worldwide hunger; therefore, you eat all the food in front of you. You start overeating with every meal, and even in between.

It might also bring a notion that the children in the world are more important than you. You have to sacrifice so that they will not starve. Later on in life, you form this habit of putting others and their needs before your own.

Most of the time, we are not even aware of these thought patterns governing our behaviours. We fight the habits/actions but never succeed. And in the end, we label ourselves as failures. We then enhance this underlying lie and wonder why we can never rise above our circumstances.


Simon Sinek is well known for his Ted-Talk “Start with your why”. 

Motivation is what causes us to succeed in our goals, whether this is to lose weight, earn a lot of money or have great relationships. If we do not know why we do something, we will not be motivated to stick with our decision, and in the end, we will not succeed in that area.

If you grew up in 1800, you most likely heard your parents say one of the following things:

“Do as I say, because I know what is best for you”.

“Children must be seen, not heard”.

And although their hearts never where to bring us harm, these phrases stuck and caused us to think in a certain way. Also, society and peer pressure causes us to think and behave in a certain way. We do things as the norm would, and we follow blindly.

Today, we struggle to sit and find the whys behind our goals, desires and dreams.

Remember, you are a unique individual. We were never born to fit in; we were born to stand out. But before we can do that, we must first come to a place where we know why we do the things we do.

If you do not have a strong enough reason that will see you through the tough times, you will only fall into despair because you once again abandoned your good intentions.


Another reason we struggle is that we do not know how to go about changing bad habits.

We want quick fixes, jump right in and expect immediate results. Impatiently we start full of enthusiasm and then, we find out that we cannot sustain the changes we want to make.

I believe that no person is beyond changing bad habits into more positive habits, which will bring a better future. Yet, from experience, I know that we need tools to help us move forward in life.

That is why I developed my Re-define Life Coaching Program, where I take my journey and help others to take control of their lives and move forward.


  • Evaluate where you are at in life and where you want to be.
  • Determine what must change to move to where you want to be. 
  • Find your why/motivation. 
  • Identify and name the negative pattern holding you back. 
  • Identify the beliefs/lies holding you back.
  • Create a vision board with the truth cancelling the lie.
  • Determine the new pattern you must adapt to ensure the necessary change.
  • Set goals to ensure the change you want to see. 
  • Live the life you want.
  • The most important aspect is to identify the lies keeping you from moving forward.


(From my Instagram Post on 24 January 2020) 

“At the end of each year, I feel like a failure, because none of my New Year’s resolutions came to pass.

Then, I realised, New Year resolutions fail because we do not believe in ourselves or see ourselves as worthy of change.

We see New Year resolutions as a quick fix type of thing, instead of making it a lifelong commitment towards change.

However, before we can commit to any lasting change, we must first believe that we are worthy of having a better life.

What we believe about ourselves originate from the core beliefs we hold.

We allow people’s opinions, expectations and views to form and shape our core beliefs.

Start at the root.

Change your core beliefs, seek God’s truth and be permanently transformed from the inside out.

Are you ready to never be the same again?”


Do not allow lies formed by your life experience to dictate your future.

You have the power to break free, take control and move forward.

Not only do you have the ability, but the right to live the life you always wanted.

Are you ready to change your bad habits and enjoy the life you desire?

Photo by Obi Onyeador @thenewmalcolm

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1 thought on “Why do we struggle to change bad habits”

  1. Pingback: 5 Reasons Small Manageable Changes are Crucial - Belinda Pieterse

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