Silhouette of man thinking about the habit he needs to change

The One Habit Controlling Our Lives

Yes, there is only ONE habit that controls our lives, and if we can change this ONE habit, our lives will be so much better. We will no longer feel like a failure. Our destinies will be in our hands and not left to mere fate.

When we change this ONE habit, we will rise above our circumstances, and we will be able to live the life we dream off. Yes, our dreams and goals will become a reality.

So, what on earth can this ONE habit, that is so powerful that it holds our dreams and destiny in its hands, be?

The ONE habit, controlling our lives and future, is the WAY WE THINK. What we think about ourselves, the people around us, our circumstances, our abilities, and so much more.

Our whole being is driven by what we think. Yes, WHAT WE THINK is also a habit. It is the ONE habit that controls our entire life.


Here are a couple of thought patterns holding us back, stopping us from achieving the life we want.

Tomorrow is another day 

How many times have you put something on hold till tomorrow? I know that I have done it countless times.

Tomorrow I will start exercising. Tomorrow I will start eating healthy. Tomorrow I will start planning my days, scheduling my work and tracking my progress. Tomorrow I will walk away from the toxic relationships.

Always tomorrow. And before we know, we feel trapped, confused and like a failure because of all the bad habits we formed.

Ten years later, I still have just one more series on Netflix that I want to finish. Two years down the road, and I still struggle with my weight. Five years later, and I still plan each day to start exercising tomorrow.

If we do not change our “I will start tomorrow” thinking, we will find that tomorrow always evades us and that we keep running in circles of wishing, postponing, wishing, postponing and in the end giving up.

We must start realising that we only have today and that the choices we make today will determine our tomorrow. We cannot afford to allow ourselves to think that tomorrow is another day and that we will start making the necessary changes tomorrow.

Start today, this very moment. And then you will start seeing the change you desire.

If only 

Another toxic way of thinking is “IF ONLY”.

If only my parents could afford to send me to university. If only I listened to my mother and did not marry this man. If only the CoronaVirus did not enter South African borders and we did not have LOCKDOWN.

If Only.

We blame our circumstances, other people and our past. And in all of this, we feel that we do not have any control over our lives. We drift on an ocean of uncertainty, doubt, and fear without ever hoping that we have a say about our future.

And yes, we cannot control what happens to us, but we can control how we allow what happens to us to shape our perceptions and thoughts.

We can change the way we think. Instead of saying “If only” this or that, we can say “What did I learn and how can I apply it to move forward”.

Circumstances and our past can either become our prison or a rocket taking us to newer heights. It all depends on how we think about it.

What if 

What if my business does not succeed? What if I get old and my health fails? What if I never see my family again? What if my life is one big waste of time and energy? What if, what if, what if.

But what if my business succeeds and what if I live a long and healthy life? And what if I can use all the trials and tribulations I faced and turn it into a testimony to help others facing similar things?

The question “WHAT IF” keeps our focus captive on an uncertain future, paralysing us at the moment with fear, doubt and hopelessness. It diverts our energy, focus and steals the precious moment we are in right now.

“What if” can go either way, but “What if” is not ours to know.

Seize today, live life to its fullest this very moment and stop worrying about things that might never be.

Other thought patterns 

These are only a few thought patterns keeping us from moving forward in life.

Others are:

I am not good enough
.I will never amount to anything.
No one cares.
Everyone else is better than I am.
I am not worthy.

Endless thoughts racing through our minds day in and day out.


I am no brain expert. But what I do now, is that every thought forms a neural pathway in our brains. The neural pathways get stronger if we embrace the same thought pattern over and over again.

What does this mean?

It means that these negative thoughts instinctively become the first reaction we have towards life. We struggle forward, drowning in a sea of self-doubt, self-blame and negativity.

Thoughts dictate how we feel about ourselves, the world around us, and other people. Thoughts shape our actions, character, and in the end, determine our destiny.

Is there a way out? Or are we subjected to these negative thought patterns for the rest of our lives?

There is always a way out. Always.

It is time to take control of these negative thoughts, replace them with positive thoughts and move towards the life you want.



Stop putting things off till tomorrow 


We will never change our futures if we do not take that first step in the right direction. And the longer we think that tomorrow will be the perfect time to take that first step, the longer our dreams will evade us.

Even just one small step in the right direction will give us a sense of achievement, power and control.

We only have today, and even if we change only today, we will feel accomplished, fulfilled and successful.

Success is not the big things we achieve in life, even when this is what society tells us. The daily, small, and consistent changes we make to better our lives, brings success. Success is taking a moment and making it the best moment of our lives. We change our destiny when we think differently about this moment. Knowing that this moment is all we have and that even the smallest things we do today will have a ripple effect tomorrow.

Take control of this moment, the way you think about this moment and what you do at this moment. And you will stand amazed at the success within your reach.

What is holding you back from taking the first step today? What habitual thought pattern hinders you from seizing the moment, making the necessary changes and moving forward?



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1 thought on “The One Habit Controlling Our Lives”

  1. Pingback: Why do we struggle to change bad habits - Belinda Pieterse

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